Lily Allen admits she “could be quite mean” before she got sober

Lily Allen has admitted that she “could be quite mean” before she got sober.

The singer and actor has been sober for several years, having struggled with both binge drinking and drug abuse in the past.

• READ MORE: The NME Big Read – Lily Allen: “I’m taking ownership of my narrative”

Last April, Allen said she could “lose everything” if she drank alcohol again while recalling the time she got banned from London’s Groucho Club. She previously opened up about how her “life [had] changed so much” since she decided to quit.

During a new interview with Grazia, the ‘Smile’ artist spoke alongside her friend Miquita Oliver about the pair’s popular podcast Miss Me? – where they often speak candidly about
their lives.

Allen told the publication that sobriety had made her a better friend, with the journalist noting that the singer was “nicer now [and] having more fun”.

“I think I’m just a completely different person,” Allen explained. “When I was drinking and taking drugs, I could be quite mean.”

She continued: “I spent the best part of my 20s being publicly humiliated and vilified the whole time and sort of having to absorb all of that. And I think when I drank and when I took drugs, it was like, ‘Now it’s your turn. I’m going to turn it around on everyone else’.”

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Oliver added: “We were all a bit of a fucking mess then. We had a great time. I loved partying and I love going out and I still drink, I still go out, but it’s not part of our friendship any more and it doesn’t feel like a loss. It hasn’t been for so long. I don’t really want to do that right now.”

The interview was conducted a few weeks before Allen announced that she would be taking a temporary break from Miss Me? and other work commitments to focus on her mental health.

“I’m really not in a good place,” Allen told Oliver on an episode of the podcast earlier this month. “I know I’ve been talking about it for months, but I’ve been spiralling and spiralling and spiralling, and it’s got out of control.”

The star said the only thing she could concentrate on was “the pain that I’m going through” amid unconfirmed reports that she had split from her husband, Stranger Things actor David Harbour.

Allen went on to tell listeners that she would be “going away” soon, and said fans wouldn’t hear from her for “a few weeks”. However, she denied any speculation that she was going to rehab. “I’ve not relapsed,” she assured Oliver.

The ‘LDN’ artist also said she was “not allowed” to use her phone where she was going.

Allen has since been replaced on the podcast by temporary co-host Mabel. Rizzle Kicks‘ Jordan Stephens and comedian Simon Amstell will then stand in for Allen during her absences on January 23, 27 (Stephens), 30 and February 3 (Amstell).

In another episode of Miss Me? last month, Allen revealed that she had “stopped eating” and was “not in a good place mentally”. She suggested that her ADHD could be playing a part, as it means her body and mind don’t link together properly at times.

“The messages of hunger are not going through my body to my brain,” she explained. “I’m not avoiding food, I’m just not thinking about it because I’m so in my head. My body’s, like, a few steps behind me.”

Last year, Allen talked about how “drugs and alcohol were very good at drowning out [her] inner critic”, adding: “When you take cocaine you think all of your ideas are brilliant and need to be shared.”

She had said earlier that fame “became an addiction in itself”, citing “the attention and the paparazzi and the chaos” at the height of her popularity. In 2007, Allen admitted to having an “addictive personality”, and revealed the previous year that she used to deal drugs when she was a teenager.

Allen and Oliver are set to bring their Miss Me? podcast to a live audience for the first time in March.

In other news, Allen has revealed that she is “trying to manifest” getting a new album “out by the end of the year”. Her fourth and latest studio record, ‘No Shame’, was released in 2018.

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